On a bill with Anson. Only wish Son Henry was here for this.
Monday, April 07, 2008
YOU MAY BE TOO OLD TO PLAY GIGS WHEN
Sometimes laughing at yourself is the only way to make it thru to another day. Thanks to my friend Ginny Bluzgal Ivey for this.
YOU MAY BE TOO OLD TO PLAY GIGS WHEN...
1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your play list.
6. Instead of a keyboard player, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
7. You don't know (or care) who any of the new bands are.
8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
10. You feel like shite before the gig even starts.
11. The waitress is your daughter.
12. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
13. You refuse to play without earplugs.
14. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
15. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
16. You're related to at least one member in the band.
17. You need a nap before the gig.
18. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down.
19. You prefer a music stand with a light.
20. You don't recover from a Saturday night gig until Tuesday afternoon.
21. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.
22. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 23. You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
24. Your entire set list is 'danceable'.
25. You're playing the same venue in three months time so you ask the club owner if you can leave your amp.
26. Your son is waiting for the gig to end to drive you and your gear home, then go back out to party
27. Your date couldn't make it because she 'couldn't find a sitter for the grandkids'.
28. In consideration of your age, the audience requests some 'British Invasion' songs.
29. Instead of keeping it secret, you start listing your truss as a "business expense".
30. If you get a "Cease and Desist" letter from the Spandex co.
31. You play a Wednesday night gig and call into work sick on both Thursday and Friday.
32. Your hearing has deteriorated so badly that you actually ask the guitar player to turn himself up.
33. You call out the next song only to have someone remind you played it 10 minutes earlier.
34. Your drugs are keeping you alive rather than killing you.
35. You worry more about breaking a hip than being hip.
36. Musicians half your age are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or have appeared on postage stamps.
OUCH!!!
YOU MAY BE TOO OLD TO PLAY GIGS WHEN...
1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your play list.
6. Instead of a keyboard player, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
7. You don't know (or care) who any of the new bands are.
8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
10. You feel like shite before the gig even starts.
11. The waitress is your daughter.
12. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
13. You refuse to play without earplugs.
14. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
15. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
16. You're related to at least one member in the band.
17. You need a nap before the gig.
18. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down.
19. You prefer a music stand with a light.
20. You don't recover from a Saturday night gig until Tuesday afternoon.
21. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.
22. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 23. You can remember seven different club names for the same location.
24. Your entire set list is 'danceable'.
25. You're playing the same venue in three months time so you ask the club owner if you can leave your amp.
26. Your son is waiting for the gig to end to drive you and your gear home, then go back out to party
27. Your date couldn't make it because she 'couldn't find a sitter for the grandkids'.
28. In consideration of your age, the audience requests some 'British Invasion' songs.
29. Instead of keeping it secret, you start listing your truss as a "business expense".
30. If you get a "Cease and Desist" letter from the Spandex co.
31. You play a Wednesday night gig and call into work sick on both Thursday and Friday.
32. Your hearing has deteriorated so badly that you actually ask the guitar player to turn himself up.
33. You call out the next song only to have someone remind you played it 10 minutes earlier.
34. Your drugs are keeping you alive rather than killing you.
35. You worry more about breaking a hip than being hip.
36. Musicians half your age are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or have appeared on postage stamps.
OUCH!!!
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